1. Move out and be in San Diego
2. Have a puppy! (:
3. Get a Mini Cooper S
4. Make friends

A year ago I was starting therapy which I later figured out I only needed because of you. A year ago my mood was up and down because of constant fights with you. A year ago I didn’t realize how wrong you were for me. Now, 365 days later, I’m in a lasting relationship with my best friend and I couldn’t be happier. It’s funny to think all my stress, all my unhappiness was caused because of you.

We’ve been best friends for quite a while now, friends for even longer. But before that we hated each other (￣^￣)ゞ When we started dating, you made me realize what assholes I went after in the past. I was a doormat, people were constantly stepping all over me, using me, treating me with no respect whatsoever. When things started becoming real for us, it was a shock for both of us because we would always say this would never happen, but now that it has, we know it’s right. You show me you care in small ways, you like things about me that a normal person would be turned off by. You are patient with me even when you know talking about emotions is difficult for me because of my past. You love me for me. In the middle of the night, I discovered a bag on my doorstep filled with treats for my day at school. You spoil me. :) I love you—you’re my lover, but more importantly, you’re my best friend.

Dude, honestly I hate your fuckin’ guts.

Me—once the person you went to when you needed a shoulder to lean on, who you would tell about your day: the good, the bad, and the ugly, who you’d tell everything to, the person who feels less necessary in your life. I sit here reminiscing about times we had just a month ago and wonder where the time went, what changed, was it me? Me—a person who has trouble trusting people, but when I do, I put my whole life on the table and let you examine it, a person who doesn’t know who I am exactly nor where I am going, a little clingy to the friendships I have because I hold them so dear. I’m not mad, I just… miss you. I miss our rants, dinners at each others houses, feeling like I can tell you everything, late night talks. Yet, lately when no one hits me up, I find myself sitting by myself, watching movies back to back, completely lonely while I know you’re off somewhere talking to someone, cuddling, conversing. I guess I can only depend on myself then.